One Funeral That Almost Became Two

A little background is in order for this story. First of all, Jason's grandmother Alice (paternal) passed away this last week so we drove up to Boise over the weekend for her funeral. Secondly, Jefferson has become a daredevil. He will climb anything and he is honestly the fastest kid that I have ever met. He runs on his toes, which is how sprinters train. He will bypass me in speed probably in the next year. It's rediciulous.

Lovely Alice

So, we were at the funeral on Friday afternoon and it was lovely, except for the fact that Jefferson had not gotten his nap. When he is tired he resembles a drunk. He becomes so clumsy. After the funeral some of Aunt Kim's friends put together the most beautiful dinner in the gym for family. Seriously, the center pieces were fabulous. They consisted of huge decorative vases filled with silver and purple glittery balls and the vase had a purple ribbon tied around it and it was sitting on top of a square piece of glass with little fake diamonds sprinkled around. And next to the vase was a picture of Alice in a beautiful frame all on top of a white table cloth. Soooooo pretty and the food was great. I let Jason eat and watched Jefferson and then we switched places, or so I thought. Here I am eating a sandwich and here comes Aunt Kim with a muddy and soaking wet Jefferson. Jason's 11 year cousin found Jefferson outside in the parking lot playing in the puddles all by himself. Fabulous. Sighing, I continue to watch Jefferson for a while before asking Jason if he could watch him so I could finish eating. Great, he took him and walked around. Weeeeellllll, I was walking over to get some dessert (there were like 10 kinds!!) and I hear this massively loud crash followed by about 75 collective gasps. I turn around and see my kid on the floor laying on top of a huge amount of broken glass. Jason had let him onto the stage with the other kids and then started talking to someone else. Jefferson thought it would be fun to run through the curtains not realizing that on the other side there was nothing to stop him. So through he ran, and ran into the biggest center piece that had been placed on the center of the stage. There was so much glass!! He took that with him as he did a swan dive off the stage. Miraculously, he landed completely flat on his back so there was no one point of impact and he only got 3 tiny cuts on his lower back. I was so freaked out. It was horrible. Five seconds after it happened Jason stuck his head out of the curtain and asked, "What happened?", if there hadn't been so many people concerned and worried that man would have gotten an hearful, let me tell you. I was just waiting for him to start swaying and vomiting (signs of concussion) but that didn't happen. Actually, he barely cried.

Anyway, after going back to Kim and Steve's he fell half way down their hard wood stairs. Seriously, I think this kid has a death wish. Is it possible for a mother to have 5 heart attacks in a day. Every one kept joking that since flying off the stage didn't work he tried to do it off the stairs. Tender mercies. It was one stressful day for this lady. I think I need to buy a leash or a padded helmet. What do you think?